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All About Christmas

by Gom Jabbar

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lyrics

if you’re one of those people
who go crazy over Christmas
tell me do you know
what Christmas is even about?
why don't I tell you what Christmas is about
it’s gonna get a little bit choppy
so grab on to me...

some folks decorate an evergreen tree
none can agree
on what the trees symbolize
some say renewal
others say eternal life
or could be just the way
we shake down nature for a prize

it’s either Jesus or it’s pagan

some people sing carols
about reindeer in the snow
to celebrate a certain Middle Eastern birth
and some sing “I don’t want
a lot for Christmas”
as they max out their credit card

it’s either St. Nick or Coca-Cola

so let’s gather round family and friends
then look at others for what triggers or offends
that’s because what Christmas is all about
is telling others what their Christmas
should be about

me tell you all about Christmas
(he'll tell you all about Christmas)

many hate their own tradition’s Xmas
let alone vestiges of Roman Saturnalia
for some goody-two-shoes it is a chance to flex—
must rally hard for all Satanic practices to go belly up

you know the Yule log’s probably Satan

Western kids write to Santa
and ask for massive presents
the same guy who used to beat up
naughty children with a stick
(he could really jingle bells, jingle bells)
he owns a factory up North now
and skims from his elves’ wages
I guess a useful lesson—
it pays to be a dick

does he ever make it down to Angola?

gather round, my dear family and friends
let’s look at the neighbors for what triggers and offends
we know too well what Christmas is about
It’s about judging others
and calling the heathens out!

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released December 16, 2022

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Gom Jabbar

Gom Jabbar is an unapologetic musical calamity from around the world.

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