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Aliens, Keep Your Distance!

by Gom Jabbar

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Universal Mind Moods
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Universal Mind Moods They come here on vacations disguised. Because we are afraid of them and will kill anything that's not like us. Love the humor.
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lyrics

PA: "Aliens from galaxies near and far,
welcome to Earth's Visitor Center.
We have the fluffiest clouds
and some of the cowiest cows in the quadrant.
Please watch this brief orientation video
to help you enjoy your stay."

Welcome to our humble world
we may not be the brightest
but we're the most spiritual.
Yeah, we're cruising in the Goldilocks.
We wrote the book
on dashing infants against rocks.

We've had not one World War but two.
Then we make scary movies
about what you might do
even though we're the craziest
in a hundred-parsec radius.

Genocide is not just a concept,
it's something we've practiced plenty of times.
If you come on vacation
you better be rich or Caucasian white.
(These are the kinds of alien we like.)

Aliens, keep your distance!
You know we don't like visitors
who don't speak English,
now that's just odd,
'cause we're the greatest planet
like you would not believe!

Aliens, keep your distance.
You know we don't tolerate visitors
who love their math
more than our God
who made this planet just for our needs!

Not yours, it's not yours,
it's ours, it's not yours.

That tiny top of the food chain--that's us.
Bet your tentacles taste good with soy sauce!
When it comes to a-shootin'
we don't need a reason.
You should see what we did once to a pigeon.

Yeah, we're proud to be the shadiest.
Burned to a crisp the most scientists,
sent to hell the most atheists,
deviants, non-conformists, activists.

When it comes to global pollution,
we've outdone ourselves.
We like to misunderstand evolution
as f*** everyone and everything else.
Yeah, f*** everyone in this Universe.

It's not yours, it's ours!

Aliens, keep your distance.
You know we don't take prisoners.
And when we do,
we torture them
'cause we're the greatest planet
that ever formed from dust.

Aliens better keep your distance.
No, thanks, we don't need your assistance.
You steal our jobs,
we'll deport your ass.
We built this planet just for those who look like us.

Not yours, it's not yours.
It's ours, it's not yours.

Aliens better keep that distance.
Oh, we know you don't celebrate Christmas.
But don't worry,
when we come to visit
we'll drop some books together with our bombs.

credits

released December 22, 2020

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Gom Jabbar

Gom Jabbar is an unapologetic musical calamity from around the world.

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